I debated it in my head for a long time and i realized that (in my opinion) if he got caught it would be funny as hell but if he got away with it then lucky for him. I'm not a snitch and i never will be. So once i got over the whole steeling issue everything about the theft became a lot more funny. Every store we walked into he would nype a piece of clothing or some goggles etc. Eventually we were all doing it. Some of us came home with expensive jackets, expensive goggles, and tons of Vail wear clothing. Everything was going fine until he tried to apply his ideas to restaurants, that is just something I'm not okay with.
My paragraph could use some more structure.
I could use some better descriptive words to give a better idea of the story.
I could try to make the story more engaging
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3 comments:
maybe you could incorporate horses to make it better and i have no idea what your story was about, just sounds like people stealing stuff maybe the rest of your paper explained it
I think you should add more of what you are thinking about when all this is going on. And at the end of that paragraph when you say you weren't happy with what he was doing you should go into more of why and how you felt.
about are you talkin about das? there is some good structure throughout the paragraph but i still beleive you need help
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